Defending Against Distress

In my previous blog, I discussed thinking positively despite facing multiple challenges. In line with that, there are defenses against distress one can implement to facilitate thinking positively.

Change is an accepted part of life. Some change is good, and we love it, look forward to it (e.g. new house, job promotion). The process involved in making that good change happen was likely a source of joy. But, on the flip side, some of life’s changes can be very distressing (e.g. loss of a loved one, divorce). Some changes, good or bad, can occur without warning, so we’re usually unprepared for it.

Whoa. You Didn’t See That Coming …

Unexpected change can be disorienting, producing a physical response of feeling nothing is within your control. It may sound contradictory, but you can prepare for unplanned changes. It’s a mental thing, a psychological preparation.

Facing unplanned change with a prepared mind creates a sense of reorientation even with those things seemingly beyond our control. Change is inevitable. Okay. So, mentally preparing for it, makes sense. Even if you don’t know the ‘when,’ you can prepare for an ‘if,’ finding it possible to be both proactive and reactive when a change actually happens. Mental preparation also allows contemplation of dealing with possible responses when faced with stress surrounding change.

Some might say, preparing for change is tempting fate. But, consider emergency responders. In very real-life situations, these people work in occupations centered on dealing with sudden emergencies; they have to be ‘at the ready’ constantly. As such, in training, they learn to anticipate all possible scenarios, how to address with them proactively. They learn how to prevent certain situations or minimize any harm—and they learn what effective actions to take should these events occur. Adopting a bit of how they prepare for extraordinary change can impart valuable insight in how we can deal with stresses of life’s ‘ordinary’ disruptions, and there are a few ways to do that.

The Probability Question

To begin, recognize: there is a definite correlation between the degree we should anticipate and prepare for something happening with its degree of risk of occurring. For example, people living in high-flood risk areas, prepare for its inevitably: stabilizing and securing their property, being ready for it mentally.

Remember, the initial focus is preparing mentally for potential upheaval (where the change will be stressful). Parents-to-be have probably done a fair amount of babysitting, but, while they can prepare for the birth, get the nursery together, etc., they have no true idea about the life changes parenthood will bring (really, no … idea). But that’s okay. Before that bundle-of-joy arrives, they prepare by reading up, getting advice and pointers from family and close friends who’ve already joined the club, and by identifying possible areas of concern they believe they’ll face in their new parenting role.

Lastly, practice makes perfect sense when getting mentally prepared for stressful change. When dealing with the small stuff, it serves as a dry run, because it’s opportunity for learning and managing stressful situations on a smaller scale—to later apply to the major occurrences. It’s invaluable ‘in the moment’ training.

By no means do I have it all together. No way, no how. And this COVID-19 pandemic is a strange, new (and very stressful) animal. But I’ve picked up a few tried-and-trues that help make my life more fun, more manageable. Effectively addressing the many minor challenges and changes we face daily helps us develop the skills necessary when navigating the unexpected major ones.

So, go ahead: sweat the small stuff (occasionally). It’ll do you good.

Until next time, stay serif.